2003-06-07 - 1:05 a.m.
spent two and a half hours on the phone talking to josh about how cute my brain works when i start liking a guy..
.. well, one inparticular. that guy being josh, of course.
the convo was so sweet and innocent. it was just us talking about how we courted one another. how we flirted crazily with one another, and how we tried insanely to NOT let anyone let on to our feelings [and failing miserably]
tonight was one of those times you get off the phone with those unbelievably huge smiles on your lips.. but you still think about all those great times you had with the guy you absolutely adore..
.. and you think, "will this smile ever wipe off of these lips?"
the answer being "occasionally, yes. in those times in your life where something doesn't go the way you planned, but when it does, that smile will grace your lips.. and it will be because of him.. "
and that's a great amazing feeling.
*sigh*
only five days. five quick days filled with love from close friends and great family. five days filled with packing. five days filled with phone calls starting off with "hey baby bear, it's almost here.."
five days of thinking that i'll be in his arms for not only five months in illinois, BUT for the rest of our lives following illinois.
oh my, i love that thought.
we were laughing over the fact that my brother in law had warned him not to mess with me, or else josh would end up on the side of the road, grasping for his life. i swore that when i found this out from my sister, i knew that josh would NEVER speak to me again, because he'd be afraid that he'd end up dead , or i thought he was simply screwing around with me because he was just a guy, and wanted one quicky before he left...
i remember walking into elle's house the next day, and josh came up to me, flirting just as much, if not more. he wasn't afraid. he wasn't scared of the warning larry had given him.
he told me tonight that he had known that he had wanted to be with me. that his intentions were honorable. that he wasn't there to screw around with me. but he wanted to spend the rest of his visit with me.. and perhaps fall in love with me and spend the rest of his life with me..
WOW!
just gives me goosebumps.
i am so in love with this boy, sometimes it scares me.
well, i better go. i gotta get my dad's stuff ready for work, and i'm totally kick ass tired. so, i shall write more tomorrow.
