2003-04-19 - 2:58 a.m.
every part of my room houses a reminder of josh..
.. i look throughout my room, and i see memories playing out before me.. i hear laughter shared between us.. i feel the warmth of his embrace around me.. i smell his cologne.. i taste his kiss..
small reminders have been left behind so that i can look at them & feel the same amazing feeling i felt when he was here.. to hold me, to kiss me.
there are moments in my days that i feel my heart aching to be with his..
.. and then, there are moments where i smile.. thinking of the life we will share, and i hold onto that.. so very tightly.. just knowing that he loves me allows my days to go by.. his love allows me to deal with this distance..
the hardest thing that i have had to deal with is being apart from the one that i love.. with all of my heart.. all of my soul.. all of my being..
.. not being able to turn my head and find his lips so very close to mine.. not being able to cuddle up in his arms after having a bad dream.. not being able to smile in his direction, letting him know, without words, that i love him..
just knowing that i'll be in his arms shortly allows me to get through the day..
.. missing him seems harder at night.
*sigh*
josh, i miss you so much. sometimes it hurts. but knowing that you love me & i love you gets me through the day.. get's me through this distance.. in fact, knowing just that will allow me to get through anything..
