2003-06-08 - 5:37 p.m.
well, i finally told a friend of mine how i felt yesterday. got my feelings out. and that person proceeded to tell me that i was selfish. that i was only friends with her when it was convient for ME, and the only person i cared about was josh.
.. but you know what? even those harsh words didn't cut to the core. basically her presence at my going away party would have irritated me. i didn't want someone who was being a half-assed friend there. i wanted the people who TRULY cared about me at my party. not the half-assers.
the going away party was wonderful. i was surrounded by amazing people. britt, amy, anthony, and pami showed up, which was great! we sat around and talked about middle school and all the guys that amy and i crushed on through out those grades. we look back now and often wonder what the HELL were we thinking!! it was the perfect night!
.. amy talked to josh, and he told her that even the little hairs on the back of his neck love me. how god damn sweet is that? after she got through talking to him, josh explained to me that he didn't tell her those things to impress anyone, but because he truly and honestly meant them. if the little hairs on the back of his neck didn't love me, he wouldn't have said it! *smiles*
i have four more short days. four short days to pack. to visit with the most amazing friends and family ever. four short days to cram in so much that i had thought i had time to do, but now that i look on, i MIGHT just be able to pull it off.
.. four short days to realize i'm going to miss these people, but four short days to realize i can't miss too much or else i'll never get on that plane.
four short days to think about all of the most amazing sights i'll see.. i'll experience with josh. the only guy i'll ever want to experience anything like illinois with.
wow!
well, i gotta go. i'm tired. and i wanna rest. i got two hours to rest until josh calls me back! *smiles*
PS. thanks for the support, my girls!! you ALL know who you are!! *smiles*
