2003-06-07 - 11:14 a.m.
maybe i shouldn't be suprised when my friends screw me over. it seriously isn't worth it to me anymore.
.. i say this, but here i am, dedicating yet another entry to the way my friends treat me.
because, you know what? as much as i try to not allow it to hurt, it still does.
i just don't know what i do! i just can't see it! i'm a pretty damn decent person. i'm nice, kind, compassionate. i will do anything for a person. but maybe that's what it is. maybe i need to be a little more hardcore. i don't know. it's just not me.
i just hate this.
i wanted to have this amazing going away party with all of these kick ass friends, and i just don't have that. i wanted to open the door and have my friends walk in, embrace me with hugs and kisses, but i don't see that happening either.
.. maybe it's just time to quit fooling myself. stop being suprised when i email someone and they don't reply. when you write them three msgs on yahoo, and they ignore you when they are clearly online talking to others. it doesn't take much to chat with someone. and it doesn't take much to say "hey, i'm mad at you for several reasons."
damn if i hate the silent treatment!
i just need to NOT be suprised when certain people don't show up.. and be suprised when they do..
well, i should go. i have five damn days in this god forsaken town, and i'm thankful for that. with every day, i wonder if i'll even miss the place..
