2003-06-06 - 1:44 p.m.
hi again
so i like to think you understood where i was coming from before...guess not...but i cant call that...youre your own person, so decisions you make is fine. that damn survey took me forever and a day to do...and i was being sarcastic when i said it wasnt fun. thats not me saving my ass, its the truth. so im not sure where the bitterness came from, but again thats you. i read your few forwards you sent me, but very sparingly. now if you truly feel we have no "friendship" then thats all you. althought thats totally jacked considering ive never in anyway disrespected you or found excuses to leave you alnoe, hell ive even spoken of you to some of my friends. however, i make no apologies whatsoever. im sorry that having to work all the damn time and having these damn classes burn me out to the point where i cannot give a damn about anyone, or so thats how it feels right now.
my story is no different than anyone elses, and its no excuse, but it is a reason. and dont worry, you arent the only one ive "neglected", course i appriciate you being honest, wish my other "friends" were the same way, but thats probably cause they understand where im coming from. i sound mean and i dont apologize form that, but im tired of having to explain myself to people. i cant help that im so damn busy, thats my life. i work and i go to classes, thats about it. i like to think i have a social life... you should have known this, even though i went out of my way twice to see you, would have gladly (very) done it more had i had time *and have not been screwed over by my job*.
again its no excuse, its a reason. i am happy for you with you leaving and you getting married and stuff. you deserve to be happy and i dont say that about many people. but you are very much one of them. i wanted to make plans to visit one more time, but i couldnt and by now its kinda too late. not your fault though. a good bit of stuff has been going on with me, but i wont get into that now cause thos are my problems and thats not why im writing this.
well im gonna close this out, again i do apologize if it seems i forgot about you, cause i never did. but i wont apologize for what ive said if ive offended you, not that im singling you out, but ive had numerous times have had to explain myself as to WHY i (cant)dont keep in touch with people consistently. you arent the only one...but i thought you understood or were one of my few friends who did. and thats why ive remembered ya and liked ya so much. but again i leave that up to you, but do keep in mind i do care about you bunches and am very happy for you, but if you do choose to "forget" me whenst you go, ill understand...i wont agree but ill understand. do what you wish...but take care of yourself and stuff
that was his reply. ok, i just want to say one gosh dern thing in reply to his work/college excuse. i was not upset that he couldn't reply. i understood that. in fact, when i wrote him i always mentioned that to him. i would say "hey, i understand life is hectic lately with college/work, yada yada..." but damn if he has to bring that up again!!!
.. i just am hurt that he won't apologize for offending me or upsetting me, but he'll apolgize for not keeping in touch.
well, screw it. i don't honestly care anymore. it just hurts. and it's not worth it anymore. i didn't write him back. in fact, i talked it over with joshie, and he even said that it's not worth it.
whatever.
