2003-05-24 - 7:43 p.m.
i'm beginning to think that maybe i won't have a going away party. it's not worth it.
.. i mean, the most important people in my life are my family. and they'll be here anyway. they'll give me a going away party, i'm sure. without me even thinking about it. without me even putting any effort whatsoever into it.
whatever.
i've come to the conclusion that my absolute best friend is josh. i mean, everytime i've been down and out, he's been there. everytime i've been sick, he's been there. everytime my friends have ditched me, he's been there.
.. even before we dated, he was there.
that's amazing stuff.
i'm just glad that i'm going to be marrying this boy. i'm going to be marrying my best friend. and that's so unbelievably amazing to me.
i just feel like everyone has their own agenda right now, and i'm not included. and that seriously sucks. and it hurts.
now, i didn't expect everyone to stop what they were doing. to stop their everyday routine to make my last two weeks here outstanding.
but, i guess i wanted something fun. something.. i don't know.. so that when i look back on my life here while i'm in illinois, i can say "wow. that was some amazing times. esp my last few weeks there!"
but. i haven't gotten that.
*shrugs*
maybe the counting down of the 19 days is not only for me to be seeing the man i'm in love with, but so i can be with my best friend.
*and i'm sorry this is rather, well, depressing in a way, but.. i'm just down*
